EQ, But In Real Life

Instead of explain, I’m going to show you the importance of EQ as a leader through two personal examples.

First, back when I was in my coach training program, we did an exercise as peer coaches/clients.

When it was my turn to be the coach, my client started sharing an emotionally charged story.

• At that moment, there was no response that would aid her so I stayed quiet.

• I made eye contact, nodded my head in validation and listened as intently as I could.

After the exercise was over, all of my peers congratulated me including my peer client.

I was in somewhat of disbelief.

I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t think it was a big deal.

What I realized during our class discussion post-activity was emotional situations call for emotionally intelligent decisions.

• Assessing the situation, gathering the tone/severity/value of the moment THEN responding is key.

• That means the appropriate reaction is based on the scenario’s multiple factors.

Translation: the better you know the person, the more information you can use to effectively respond based on relationship.

Second example, we have a good family friend who often uses the phrase “read the room.”

My wife and I chuckle at the statement, but it’s because we know exactly what she is trying to emphasize.

Primarily she is alerting her kids to observe, gather information and respond appropriately.

93% of communication is nonverbal: tone, intonation and body language.

That means it’s not just WHAT is being said, but HOW it is being said.

Think about the last time you dealt with a miscommunication.

It’s less about whose fault it is, but identifying where it went wrong.

• Most miscommunication happens when we fail to empathize, or put ourselves in the other person’s shoes.

• Essentially we have a point of view and when people don’t see things exactly how we see them, we get upset.

There is an emotionally-saavy part of EQ that is innate, but really it comes down to a simple foundation.

Think about yourself less.

C.S. Lewis states “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

At the heart of EQ lies a desire to show empathy towards others (even if you don’t agree with them).

Clear communication happens when what the sender says is understood by the receiver.

This happens more regularly through practice, but mostly with the intention of listening before speaking.

To wrap things up, EQ is important as a leader because people want to be heard and valued more than anything else.

If 75% of people leave their job because of a poor manager, yet only 12% leave because of salary - stats don’t lie.

The best way to make your team feel appreciated as a leader is to connect and get to know them.

No matter how much EQ you have, you can always benefit from more of it.

The great part of improving your EQ is it can be done in any situation, from stranger to best friend.

90% of what moves people up the success ladder is EQ.

Not only does it behoove you to develop your EQ in leadership, but it also benefits your career long-term.

It’s in my Top 3 most requested speaking topics for a reason.

It’s not my opinion, it’s a fact.

If you need some help with EQ for you or our company, contact me here.

Hope these examples help you and God Bless!

Scott

If you found this helpful and you’re looking to improve your soft skills as a leader, here are ways to work with me directly:

• 🗣 Hire me to speak at your company or next event (watch my speaking reel here)

• 🎤 Invite me to lead an interactive training workshop, remotely or in-person (depending on location)

• 🤝 Start 1:1 coaching with me as a new manager, current leader or executive (I once managed 30 people 1:1 weekly❗️)

Also, you can help me out by forwarding this to friends whom would benefit from it! Thank you!