How To Manage Your Emotions

Being emotionally sound as a leader is crucial.

That doesn’t mean avoiding reactions or faking playing calm.

It means having self-regulation when it comes to your response, especially as an example.

Let’s face it.

Under pressure, what’s inside comes out.

None of us are perfect, yet remember how you model adversity shows how you expect your team too.

Each of us has a different capacity when it comes to showing how we feel.

• Some can be mistaken for robots because of a steely look.

• Others ride an emotional roller coaster on a daily basis.

I advocate living somewhere in the middle.

Here is technique for re-framing situations when an emotional cord is struck:

Thought > Feeling > Action (TFA)

Our thoughts ignite what we feel.

How we feel causes us to act or hold it in.

That’s true for most reactions, but there’s a way to manage that process that serves both parties.

If we re-frame our thought from a negative to a positive one it shifts the cycle towards a better outcome.

Here’s an example (bad to good):

Bad: When Robert interrupts me at my desk, I get frustrated because I am in a good work flow.

My reaction is to look annoyed and get ‘short’ in my response with him.

Good (re-frame): When Robert asks me something he must need my help, so I appreciate him taking the initiative to reach out.

This is an opportunity to develop his skills and if I don’t have time now, I can put a meeting time on the calendar this week.

Do you see how shifting the thought from negative (interruption) to positive (needs help) changes how I feel then act? 

In leadership, how you view “interruptions” will make or break your effectiveness in that role because it’s a big part of the job.

• Managing people means putting your team’s agenda before yours.

• It’s serving others before your own needs.

Managing your emotions effectively is about pausing to respond instead of reacting emotionally.

Leaders who project a calm presence influence their team to do the same.

Not by telling, but by showing them through modeling.

If managing your emotions comes easy, find someone to mentor in that area.

But if your emotions are out of control, feel free to reach out here and let’s chat.

Your ability to self-regulate your emotions will result in either building or destroying your team’s morale and trust.

Choose wisely.

God Bless,

Scott

If you found this helpful and you’re looking to improve your soft skills as a leader, here are ways to work with me directly:

• 🗣 Hire me to speak at your company or next event (watch my speaking reel here)

• 🎤 Invite me to lead an interactive training workshop, remotely or in-person (depending on location)

• 🤝 Start 1:1 coaching with me as a new manager, current leader or executive (I once managed 30 people 1:1 weekly❗️)

Also, you can help me out by forwarding this to friends whom would benefit from it! Thank you!