The Oxymoron Leader

Scott Asai
September 02, 2025

What is the antithesis of leadership?

Not liking (caring for) people.

If that sounds too simplistic, let me explain.

I’ve met and witnessed countless leaders who view people as interruptions to their day.

They may have gotten into leadership for the following reasons:

I can’t blame someone for wanting any of the above list.

But even if you don’t admit it, your actions reveal your true intentions. 👀

Now on the contrary when you find someone who truly develops people, hold on to them.

Call it leadership development, but that’s someone who invests in people’s growth (sometimes at their own expense).

This isn’t the ONLY trait that makes a leader great, but opposed to the previous list - it’s selfless.

So if an oxymoron leader only care about themself, then a great leader cares about others first.

In life you’ll experience more bad leaders than you will good ones…

That should make you appreciate the good ones when you do encounter them (hint: or even become the leader you wish you had).

It really comes down to focus: you or others.

That doesn’t mean you become a doormat or a “yes sir” person.

(That’s another talk on boundaries and insecurity)

It means you desire to be a catalyst for influencing the culture of an organization by investing in the success of others.

It’s easy to say “I want to make an impact, difference or be a role model,” but what are you doing about it?

If your mouth is saying one thing, but your actions contradict it - there’s a problem.

Maybe you’re questioning your own motives at this point (or the motives of your current boss 😂).

Regardless, ask yourself the following questions:

Do I view people as interruptions to my work or as an opportunity to teach them?
Is a leadership role more about my career growth or helping grow the careers of others?
Is taking a managerial role simply a promotion or is it a way to multiply the impact throughout the organization?

Be honest with your answers.

Admitting you want it because of personal gain, may actually detour you from pursuing/continuing it.

Yet if the thought of building people up gets your juices flowing, you might be a great candidate for leadership.

As easy as it is to point fingers and blame others, this exercise is really meant for you to reflect upon.

Leadership is extremely challenging (despite your intentions) and must be treated with respect and care.

When I say leadership isn’t for everyone, it’s not condescending at all.

It’s about knowing yourself, your values and the “why” behind your drive.

So check yourself, before you wreck yourself (and potentially others)

What’s in it for you?

God Bless,

P.S. If you found this helpful and you’re looking to improve your soft skills as a leader, here are ways to work with me directly:

🗣 Hire me to speak at your company or next event (watch my speaking reel here)
🎤 Invite me to lead an interactive training workshop, remotely or in-person (depending on location)
🤝 Start 1:1 coaching with me as a new manager, current leader or executive (I once managed 30 people 1:1 weekly❗️)

Also, you can help me out by forwarding this to friends whom would benefit from it! Thank you!