When Communication Is Silent đŸ€«

At first glance this post could be about listening, but it’s not.

When it comes to “underrated” soft skills, reading the room is near the top.

Along the lines of self-awareness, this form of emotional intelligence will determine the connection and trust level of the team you lead.

So leaders, listen up


Reading the room entails a lot, but I’ll discuss 3 practical ways to improve your abilities:

1. Non-Verbal Communication

93% of communication is non-verbal: body language, tone & inflection.

When leaders are “missing” the cues of their people, this is exactly what’s going on.

Active listening isn’t just hearing what’s being said (words only account for 7%).

It’s understanding what’s being spoken - the meaning behind the message.

By “reading the room,” you’re taking in all the body movements and ‘how’ people are responding to what’s being said.

Tip: the next time you’re working with a group, make sure to take in what’s being said and also what’s NOT being said (aka nonverbal cues).

2. Group Energy/Rhythm

Ever feel the energy of the room dip?

Can you tell your message isn’t connecting, so you decide to pivot?

  • If so, you understand how reading the energy level in the room can change your delivery.

  • But if this sounds foreign to you, most likely you’re not evaluating the group dynamics at play.

Think of the people in the room as a puzzle.

Each person is different, but has a place where they “fit.”

Great leaders assess the mood around them and adapt.

It’s not being a chameleon, instead it’s about being flexible towards what actually works.

When you accurately assess the energy in the room, you become more of a thermostat (catalyst) vs. a thermometer (purely reacts).

3. Adjusting Your Communication Style

Think of this as applying the previous two points together.

Empathetically integrating the thoughts and feelings of others provides context for moving forward together.

As mentioned before, adjusting your style isn’t being inauthentic.

It’s gathering the social information together in the room and delivering a message that sticks.

  • We all have a primary or preferred way of communicating, but smart leaders know based on the scenario different methods can be more effective in the moment.

  • This requires managing your ego, also known as humility, to serve the team you lead.

The best leaders in any industry pass tests they never prepare for.

Translation: “reading the room” is more about street smarts vs. book smarts.

Composed by quickly assessing the situation and being flexible enough to scrap Plan A because Plan B works better.

At the end of the day “reading the room” is like being a detective of sorts in social situations. 🔎 

Not all communication is visible or verbal, so in order to be an effective leader you need to gather, assess and adapt your leadership style on the fly.

Reading the room is a soft skill that often gets overlooked, but if you truly want to stand out as a leader you need to master this.

Great leaders are hungry to learn in order to grow.

So if you need help in this area, reach out or reply and let’s talk.

God Bless,

If you found this helpful and you’re looking to improve your soft skills as a leader, here are ways to work with me directly:

  • 🗣 Hire me to speak at your company or next event (watch my speaking reel here)

  • đŸŽ€ Invite me to lead an interactive training workshop, remotely or in-person (depending on location)

  • đŸ€ Start 1:1 coaching with me as a new manager, current leader or executive (I once managed 30 people 1:1 weekly❗)

Also, you can help me out by forwarding this to friends whom would benefit from it! Thank you!