You're in Denial

I recently coached an executive and after a certain amount of sessions my protocol is to check-in and give updates to their supervisor.

As I was sharing the progress made, I could tell something wasn’t connecting.

Once I finished talking, the supervisor expressed the complete opposite of my feedback from the team that worked under my client.

There was a disconnect between fantasy and reality.

Although there are several takeaways from this situation, I’m going to highlight three.

1. Lack of awareness

There’s self-awareness and there’s social awareness. Both are important, yet different at the same time.

Having self-awareness means knowing your strengths and weaknesses. You know what you’re good at and you know what you’re not.

When you lack self-awareness, how you perceive yourself is much different than how others perceive you. The wider the gap, the bigger the disconnect.

Social awareness is about reading the “people situations” around you.

Are you aware how your behavior at work impacts others?

It comes down to reading the room and making adjustments on your end that can positively change the environment.

2. Approach to feedback 

I wanted to use the word attitude, but even if you have the best of intentions, what gets judged is your behavior(s).

In the scenario above, the client didn’t want to hear any constructive feedback.

That’s a problem.

Everyone needs encouragement from management, but you only grow though making improvements.

If you truly want to get better, ask for feedback and make changes!

Some leaders express a lack of feedback from co-workers, but usually that’s because nothing is absorbed or adjusted so why waste time sharing concerns with you? 

Feedback is a tool and a gift, but only if you take it to heart and implement it.

3. Taking ownership

This one is a combination of the two above points.

When you choose to lack awareness and disregard feedback, you fail to take responsibility.

I’ve talked before about how leaders must accept the blame for their team’s failures, but that always follows accepting personal accountability first.

If you deny that others feel differently about your performance then you do, you’re out of touch.

If you fall into all 3 of these categories (don’t be in denial), it’s only a matter of time before you’re caught.

The reality is leaders need to:

• Be self-aware

• Be open to feedback

• Take ownership

No one ever said leadership would be easy.

But if you are self-aware, welcome feedback and take responsibility you can receive the help you need to get better.

The above may NOT be you, but someone you know (or work with).

Living in denial is like existing in a fantasy world dictated by you.

That’s a dangerous place to live.

So if you identity with any of the points above or know someone who is heading down that path reach out before it’s too late.

God Bless,

Scott

If you found this helpful and you’re looking to improve your soft skills as a leader, here are ways to work with me directly:

• 🗣 Hire me to speak at your company or next event (watch my speaking reel here)

• 🎤 Invite me to lead an interactive training workshop, remotely or in-person (depending on location)

• 🤝 Start 1:1 coaching with me as a new manager, current leader or executive (I once managed 30 people 1:1 weekly❗️)

Also, you can help me out by forwarding this to friends whom would benefit from it! Thank you!